Finding my own carrot.

I must first apologize for the abundance of spaghetti squash recipes in mid-June. You have my word that this is the last for a great while, and I will be moving on to blueberries or something equally seasonal. However in my defense, winter squash are kinda tricky. They store so well that they nearly last all year. But, it simply wasn’t fair of me to post a Summertime banner that screams for cookouts, fizzy drinks and fruit salads, only to slip in another winter squash recipe. So… hug!

If you pop by here a bit, you’ll know that I am recipe testing for Farm to Table. Each episode of this show, produced by my husband and I, will feature a different seasonal ingredient. And since I had two spaghetti squash that I gathered at the end of the farmers’ market squash season, I decided to start there. Thankfully, after Spaghetti Squash Coins with Mascarpone & Roasted Tomatoes, Squash Noodles with Red Sauce and now Kid’s Squash & Cheese, I’ll be moving on to a new episode.

Speaking of moving on, Food Network passed on Farm to Table. I was crushed. A great team had come together, and it all felt very promising. But, no. If there is a silver lining, they didn’t pass on me as a host, and they’d like to consider me for other projects they may develop. That said, Farm to Table won’t be on Food Network or Cooking Channel for that matter, any time soon. I cried. Then my husband took me down near the ocean, with Todd in tow, and we laid on the grass and looked at a beautiful tree that he wanted to show me. You can’t stay sorry for long, while staring up at a flowering tree knotted and beant towards the ocean that shaped it.

I was able to wipe the tears away with gratitude, and I am very aware of the bigger picture in life. I also know that great things come out of seemingly hard circumstances when simply breathed through. I am merely left with one bit that doesn’t want to leave my sagging shoulders. You see, I’ve come to realize that Food Network was my carrot, if you will. As I worked hard everyday, I could trick myself into thinking that I was doing it because I was getting myself prepared for someone to give me a green light. I wanted to be ready, and I’ve been blessed with a lot of discipline to focus, under those circumstances. The trouble is, now I don’t know exactly what I am preparing for. I haven’t been knocked down enough to think everything’s over. An old friend once said, “you can’t be kicked out of the game of life.” Agreed. I’m a firm believer in everyone’s right to give their dreams a go for as long as they’re willing. Honestly, I think dreams are to be held onto and used as an internal guiding force. But regardless, I’ve still got to find my own carrot, now. It’s gotta come from inside, too. I’ve found that one foot in front of the other, one productive moment at a time, is all I can muster, right now. Don’t feel sorry for me, there’s a little voice inside my heart that knows “one foot in front of the other” is really all it takes. But, I still feel silly at times, and I occasionally have to block the fear that one day I’ll be proven a fool. But at those moments, my better self steps in to calm my own fears the same way I would soothe the heart of another dear soul who is choosing to follow their gut.

So, I’ll be continuing my Farm to Table recipe testing. I will continue to stay focused and grateful. And I will continue to believe that I just don’t know what stands beyond a Food Network Pass.”

And now, back to the final recipe for the Spaghetti Squash Episode, I was really pleased with how this turned out. The vision started as a recipe for kids, but don’t let the title fool you, both John and I ate the heck out of this dish. I found I didn’t need to use a thickener to stabilize the cheese because it was so evenly dispersed amongst the spaghetti squash that it just didn’t need it. Plus, upon re-warming, it simply becomes a bit more pleasingly dense and delicious.

Click HERE for the Kid’s Squash & Cheese recipe…

xo – Organic Spark


  • Erin Hobbs

    Sorry for your disappointment. Re-examine your definition of "fool," though. I suggest that it's one who recognizes trouble/danger/sin/folly — and keeps going anyway. Ask God to show you the right path, trust He'll give you what you need, and do it. You don't sound like a fool to me!

    June 18, 2010
  • Jen S

    I am late in reviewing this – as I just became a recent follower. A quote comes to mind that I saw on a website – "The interview with God". The quote is, "God's delays are not God's denials"…I am bummed – I thoroughly enjoy reading your thoughts and learning more about food. We just never know what God has planned – sometimes….actually many times the path is not clear until years later…I think great things await! I love the blog – it is so well organized and easy to follow – and quite funny. I just can't help thinking that great thing are in store. Keep the faith…and I hope those baby steps have turned into strides now….as this is old news! :) Keep smiling!

    December 15, 2010
  • […] exciting to me. Filled with possibility; grounded in a good bit of hard-work. I’ve faced rejection, and it doesn’t scare me to face more. My hands are open, and my heart is patient. My eyes […]

    February 19, 2011

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